Jealous
by RW Grimm
Summary: A six part drabble I wrote during work the Mary Kay women came in bursts so there were some slow moments. Roy finds himself jealous of a certains someone, then another certain someone. After that he finds out Hawkeye has 'gone out' with the first.
1. Pathetic

**A/n**: This originally started out as just a simple little drabble but developed in to more, now instead of one short drabbles, it's six short drabbles that all kind of fit together into a short story. It's funny I wrote this all in one day, the first part was written on receipt paper (I was cashiering and was really bored). Anyway I hope you enjoy! I apologize that it's so short, but it is a drabble...

**Disclaimer:** I just realized none of my FMA fics have this so this'll have to count for all of them. I do not own the characters of FMA or anything associated with them, I only own the stories themselves and the work involved in making them (that sounded stupid, lol)

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_**Jealous Part One: Pathetic**_

Now this was sad.

_He_, Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, the man who could get any woman he wanted…was jealous.

But it wasn't _just_ that _he_ was jealous, no, no, it was _who_ he was jealous of, his rival for the affections of the lovely Riza Hawkeye.

Barry the Chopper. A damn suit of armor!

He knew Riza would never go to Barry, never go on a date with him, eat dinner with him, go to her home and…

Well _even if_ they went to Hawkeye's place for 'private time', Barry couldn't do anything. He didn't have the…body parts. But Roy had the body parts (boy did he!) and he knew the way to a women's heart wasn't by 'chopping people up'.

Roy definitely beat the ugly piece of tin in the looks department (but he beat a lot of men in that category already).

But still…

Why did Barry get to grope Hawkeye (though she'd been unwilling) and Roy didn't. Roy wanted to grope Hawkeye too! And he would! What Roy Mustang wanted, Roy Mustang got.

As long as he didn't get shot at in the process.

END OF PART ONE

**A/n: **Tell me what you think, is it good or bad? Should I add more detail? (note that I can't really do it for part two but the other ones I can). I'll update as soon as I can.


	2. Even More Pathetic

**A/n:** Thank you for the reviews, they are well appreciated! This chapter isn't entirely necessary, I wrote it before I added the last four parts. After this drabble it'll focus back on Barry.

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Jealous Part Two: Even More Pathetic**

There's only one thing worse than being jealous of a serial killer who's nothing more than a suit of armor.

And that's being jealous of a dog.

How pathetic, at least Barry the Chopper was human (sort of). Black Hayate was a dog!

But still…Black Hayate got to lick Hawkeye all over, he got to jump on her, snuggle with her, she even fed the damn dog!

Roy wanted to be able to kiss and lick Hawkeye, he wanted to jump her, snuggle with her, get fed by her!

Briefly Roy wondered if Black Hayate had ever gotten to see Hawkeye naked. It wasn't out of the ordinary for owners to dress in front of their pets, they weren't like people.

If he did…Roy _really _wished he were that dog.

Roy's eyes widened with a sudden realization.

Hawkeye…gave…Black Hayate…BATHS!

Roy could feel the blood trickling down his nose as his dirty mind shifted to thoughts of Riza bathing him…then doing other things to him.

Yes! Roy _would_ get bathed by Riza Hawkeye!

As long as she didn't shoot him in the head for being a pervert.

END OF PART TWO


	3. Stupid Reasoning

**A/n:** Thanks again for the reviews! This chapter is when the sorry excuse for a plot starts, I hope it remains as entertaining as you guys think it is. I think I have an obsession with Riza shooting Roy.:)

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**Jealous Part Three: Stupid Reasoning**

A bead of sweat slid down Roy Mustang's forehead. His hand gripped tightly onto the phone, now nestled in its cradle.

His mind reeled around the brief conversation he'd just had with Falman. Those simple—he counted for a moment—fifteen words were like nails on chalkboard to his ears…

"Colonel, I just thought I'd tell you, Hawkeye was here. She and Barry went out," 

Out? As is _out _on a date?

Oh god, Roy had been wrong, Hawkeye _was_ interested in Barry the Chopper, even with his lack of body parts.

How could this be though? Roy Mustang had the body of an Adonis, while Barry…had the body of a tinman.

After three hours of sitting at his desk, brows furrowed, deep in thought, Roy came to a brilliant conclusion.

But then he realized Barry hypnotizing Hawkeye wasn't _that_ brilliant (it was close though he assured himself).

The best solution to find out what was going on was simple: find Hawkeye and Barry, confront them, then kill Barry (as best he could) for touching Hawkeye (whether she was willing or not).

It was the perfect plan…_hopefully_ though Hawkeye _was_ unwilling…otherwise she might shoot him.

END OF PART THREE


	4. Stalking

**A/n:** This part started off totally lame, it wasn't even remotely funny, hopefully I've fixed it up enough. :)

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**Jealous Part Four: Stalking**

Downtown wasn't very crowded at this time of the day, so it wasn't hard to find Hawkeye…without Barry.

This confused Roy, who was hidden behind an overflowing trashcan. Falman had said Hawkeye and Barry had gone out, yet Hawkeye was all by herself.

Even if the woman was attracted to Barry, she knew how dangerous he was, and wouldn't have let him out of her sight.

Maybe…it was some kind of weird foreplay, hide-and-seek or something. But Hawkeye didn't seem like the type of person to do that.

To Roy, Hawkeyeseemed as the kind of woman who would dress in a frilly maid outfit and pretend she'd come to clean his bedroom; or weara short skirted schoolgirl uniform where she was the naughty student and he the handsome,irresistibleteacher; or his favorite of getting it on in his office, on his desk, ripping off each other's uniforms.

That was the type of woman Hawkeye was in Roy's fantasies at least.

Nose now bleeding, Roy decided to follow Hawkeye, needing to get to the bottom of this. He stalked quietly after her, like a panther, keeping a safe distance away from her. Every once and awhile, Hawkeye with her seemingly super human abilities, would whirl around, eyes scanning for a potential stalker.

When this happened Roy was forced to act quickly, his military training kicking in. He leaped, ducked, dodged, somersaulted, cart wheeled, and sautéed behind anything he could hide behind; whether it was a trashcan, bush, an alleyway, or a _large_ man or women.

After about several blocks of doing this, Roy's body started getting sore. It wasn't until they hellish block number ten that Hawkeye stopped, in front of a quaint little café.

Roy hid himself behind a potted tree nearby as Hawkeye made a 180-degree circle. Her eye's bore straight into Roy's hiding place.

"I'm going inside for some tea Colonel, would you like to join me?"

END OF PART FOUR


	5. Where’s Barry?

**A/n:** It seems I'm better at humor than I originally thought, lol. It's good to see so much positive feedback. I don't think this part's as funny as the others, but you be the judge. :)

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**Jealous Part Five: Where's Barry?**

Roy sweat dropped; how had she known? He had stayed out of sight, been careful. There was only one sound explanation…but after a few moments Roy realized it wasn't a very sound idea that his first lieutenant wasn't human.

Roy sulkily came out from his hiding place, like a child who'd been caught doing something naughty.

"Good afternoon First Lieutenant," he greeted coolly.

She saluted him before repeating her question. "Would you like to join me in the café sir?"

"Um…" Roy really hadn't expected this reaction from her, good natured and smiling. The reaction he'd expected…involved his brains splattered on the sidewalk behind him. It was that thought that drew Roy's attention to Hawkeye's own head; although not splattered on the sidewalk, he noted her hair was down. It was very pretty on her.

With Barry's absence Roy felt his confidence soar. A smirk crossed his lips. "I'd love to share a drink with you Hawkeye, but I'm here on important business," important for him anyway. "Where is Barry?"

"Barry the Chopper?"

"Yes," Roy was a little irritated; se wasn't playing dumb to protect her lover boy was she? "Falman told me you and Barry had gone…_out_," the word tasted worse then the aftertaste of a hangover.

"Oh," Hawkeye seemed surprised Roy would ask her such a question. "Yes, well sir, Barry has been complaining lately about having nothing to do and wanted some recreational things. Falman has the flu so he asked me to take Barry out and get some books and such for him. We finished shopping over an hour ago, he's back with Falman,"

For Hawkeye's really really long response, Roy had one word. "Oh,"

END OF PART FIVE


	6. Conclusion

**A/n:** Okay, here's the last part, I hope you all enjoy it. I'm really giddy right now because I just saw the Roy and Riza postcards for the FMA movies (I was a little scared they wouldn't be in it). Now I'm drooling with happiness (I have to be careful so it doesn't get on my keyboard). Anyway enjoy, and look for my upcoming drabbles: **Tea **(humor), **Inferno **(don't really know, maybe romance), **Sniper **(my interpretation of chap 34), **Interruption **(humor/romance), and **Paperwork **(romance). :)

Sorry, it's really short.

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**Jealous Part Six: Conclusion**

Roy Mustang felt like an idiot. He'd been so freaked out about Hawkeye going with another man that he'd never even thought of the possibility of her and Barry's interaction being non-romantic.

The Flame Alchemist smiled. "Let's get that coffee Hawkeye,"

As the two walked in together Roy sighed in content. Drinking coffee with this beautiful woman wasn't his best-case scenario, which was the two of them ripping each other's clothes off and having sex on his desk.

But it was better than his worst-case scenario, which was getting shot at.

Before they cold even enter the café though Roy found his face in Hawkeye's hands and her face mere inches from his own.

He snickered within his mind; no woman could resist the amazing Roy Mustang, not even the stony (yet pretty) Riza Hawkeye.

"Sir, has you nose been bleeding?" her voice held a hint of concern.

Roy had completely forgotten about that, he'd never had time to properly clean his face up, he must of looked terrible, Hawkeye wouldn't kiss him this way.

"We should get you cleaned up sir," she moved her hands away from his face and grabbed one of his gloved ones. "Come on sir, my house isn't far from here, we can get you cleaned up,"

The thought of being alone with Hawkeye in her home nearly made his nose start gushing blood again. But that stopped the second he realized they wouldn't be alone…Black Hayate would be there.

That was not a turn on for Roy.

"Let's go to my place," he offered. "It's closer," yes, he would lure her into his little web, and once he had her…

Hawkeye seemed oblivious to the evil plans forming in his mind. "Very well sir, let's go, I'll have to clean you up…Sir! You're nose is bleeding again!"

And indeed it had, as Roy's thoughts had drifted once again to Riza giving him a bath.

END OF JEALOUS

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**Thanks for reviewing:**

**ShiroKitsune, anime2emo, DreamSprite, AQ, az4ever, Shale 101, fmalover, and fightingcomet**


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